five bouncing puppies

In my dream I had five bouncing puppies. I loved them so! How joy-filled were our days.

poor puppies 1

Until…. my puppies started to poop out turds of PURE BLOOD.

Pure blood turd puppies

I watched as my poor puppies all did blood poops. They were so ashamed. Poor wee things.

poor puppies 2

Then, before my eyes…. the blood turds turned into worms and wriggled away.

poor puppies 3

Yikes.

the dream of shame

In this dream, I carried a cushion around with me everywhere I went for ultimate comfort. Unfortunately, it was a whoopee cushion, so every time I sat down, a massive fart sound was released.
I was incredibly embarrassed, but couldn’t give up the luxury seating that it offered, and continued to use it.

Paarp.jpeg

the reptipede

I had a particularly creepy dream about an animal with the head of a lizard and the body of a millipede.

It was named…. The Reptipede.

Reptipede

all the world’s greatest minds are wearing it

In my dream, I won an (undisclosed) prize, and as a reward was given a live Octopus to wear on my head.

When I got to the stage, it was crowded with the world’s top minds – who each sported their own fetching Octopus.

Octopus head

the useless flatmates

the useless flatmates 1 the useless flatmates 2 This dream taught me: That it doesn’t matter if you get telepathy from the aliens if your flatmates are useless bastards.

the moment that I really lost the audience

BeetrootThe drummer in my band hadn’t turned up. I forgot my lyrics… and I was playing with an unrehearsed children’s orchestra.

But the moment that I really lost my audience was when the boy stepped up to play a silent solo on his beetroot.