In my dream I had five bouncing puppies. I loved them so! How joy-filled were our days.
Until…. my puppies started to poop out turds of PURE BLOOD.
I watched as my poor puppies all did blood poops. They were so ashamed. Poor wee things.
Then, before my eyes…. the blood turds turned into worms and wriggled away.
In my dream, my boyfriend was a giant ginger cat who I had to shave.
In my dream, I bought a friend some crayons for his birthday.
But I took them up to space first to try them out.
As you do.
In this dream, I carried a cushion around with me everywhere I went for ultimate comfort. Unfortunately, it was a whoopee cushion, so every time I sat down, a massive fart sound was released.
I was incredibly embarrassed, but couldn’t give up the luxury seating that it offered, and continued to use it.
I had a particularly creepy dream about an animal with the head of a lizard and the body of a millipede.
It was named…. The Reptipede.
In my dream, a giant chicken cooked me a meal.
In my dream, chrysalises hung off my bum.
Yes. It poses far more questions than it answers.
In my dream, I won an (undisclosed) prize, and as a reward was given a live Octopus to wear on my head.
When I got to the stage, it was crowded with the world’s top minds – who each sported their own fetching Octopus.
This dream taught me: That it doesn’t matter if you get telepathy from the aliens if your flatmates are useless bastards.
The drummer in my band hadn’t turned up. I forgot my lyrics… and I was playing with an unrehearsed children’s orchestra.
But the moment that I really lost my audience was when the boy stepped up to play a silent solo on his beetroot.